Farewell
by MacKynzie
Summary: B'Elanna writes a farewell letter to her daughter.


Author: MacKynzie  
Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine, I just borrowed them.  
Rating: PG  
Summary: B'Elanna writes a farewell letter to her daughter.  
  
  
  
Farewell  
  
  
  
They say that everything is meant to be and everything happens for a reason. This is not as simple as it sounds. I don't know who "they" is, but he/she/it must have been a whack job. There's no reason for anything. Everything is meant to be? That's the biggest load of B.S. that I've ever heard. Everything is meant to be what, exactly? The phrase has no meaning, it's too vague. You can't just explain away all the mysteries of the universe in one little phrase. "They" tried, but I'm not buying their load of crap. You might call me a skeptic or a cynic or whatever you like, I really don't care. The hard truth of it is, is that the universe is out to get. To make your time in your corner of the galaxy as short as possible. It's hard to accept at first, but you get used to the idea after awhile.   
  
Life is one hard truth after another. It's gets easier as time goes on. Time. Now there's a subject that's been debated to death, hell if I'm going to waste the time on it. No pun intended. It's always been a great comfort to me, knowing that every day brought me closer to my death. The day you're born, is the day you begin to die. Your entire life is in preparation of your death. You grow up, get married, have kids. The whole idea of procreation is to make little clones of yourself that will live on when you die. Death is a very scary thing for some, but personally I've always welcomed it.   
  
These days, I've been wishing for death a little more fervently. I know it's only a matter of time before the jig is up, but sooner is definitely better that later in this case. Breathing. A natural and automatic system of keeping you alive. It's not supposed to hurt this much, is it? I've found that, given the right stimulant, breathing can feel like there's a knife being stabbed continually into your chest. I'm pretty sure that's not normal. But what can I say, I've always been different. Besides, the almighty "they" say that time heals all wounds. But I know I could never recover from this one. I'm not sure if I would really want to.  
  
We promised each other we would stick together. There would always be a "we" and never an "I." Well, he was first to break that promise. I don't think I can forgive him for that one. I know that it hurts, and for that I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't get the chance to watch you grow up into the fine young woman I know you are. I'm trying to hold on, but my heart just isn't in it. I wish I could say that I would survive without him, but I can't. I don't even want to try. I hope that you will find someone like your father. Someone you literally can't live without. You probably hate me for this, giving up, giving up on you. Leaving you before we really had a chance to know each other. I love you with all my heart. I'm not worried at all, we've left you in the best hands there are.   
  
The end is getting near. I'm not seeing a bright light yet, but it can't be too much longer. The pain has all but stopped, it's getting easier.  
  
You probably weren't expecting something like this when you got this letter. But I don't know how to say everything I want to. I've tried as best I could to help you see who I am. I hope you understand.  
I love you so much and I'm so sorry that your father and I had to leave you.  
  
All my love,  
B'Elanna   
  
  
  
  
"Computer, end recording."  
  
The computer beeped obligingly. "Set to deliver to Miral Paris on her 18th birthday."  
  
The computer beeped again and B'Elanna sighed with relief, she could finally let go. She looked over at her husband, his boyish face marred with blood. Tom looked as if he would wake up any second and tell her to keep the racket down. But he wouldn't be waking up ever again. And pretty soon neither would she.  
  
B'Elanna painfully began to pull herself over to where her husband lay. Reaching him, she lowered herself and laid down beside him. Grasping his hand, B'Elanna looked around the confines of the Delta Flyer one last time and then closed her eyes. She would never open them again.  
  
  
  
***  
  
Thanks for taking the time to read. I hope you enjoyed it. 


End file.
